Get Your Ex Back

By Robbie T. James

Having trouble getting over your ex? Regardless of whether your ex left you or whether you broke up with them, getting over someone with whom you were in a close relationship can be more than a little difficult. That’s because there is now a huge hole in your heart and in your life. And, it is not easy to fill up that space with anything. Of course, people all over the world in your very situation are surviving through what you are now attempting to survive. And, getting through this is a real possibility for you, too.

Here are 5 tips on surviving a breakup:

1. Let the hurt out:

Whether you are a man or a woman, a guy or a girl, pain is an inevitable part of life. Considering the fact that grieving for your ex can be likened to getting over the death of a loved one, it is no secret that you are going to feel a lot of pain during this time. And, one of nature’s solutions to helping us get over pain is to cry. Know that it is okay to cry and let it all out as you feel the pain of your breakup. If you are not moved to cry, there are other ways to let the hurt out, such as laughter, journaling, or even letting out a huge scream or two. Truth is, the pain may not all come out at once. But, if you try these things repeatedly, as the mood and opportunity allow, you will be able to let the hurt out in a healthy, effective way.

2. Decide if your relationship is really over:

Once you have gotten a little bit of perspective on your situation due to having let some of the hurt out, you are in a better position to face some very fundamental decisions. Specifically: deciding whether or note your relationship is really over. Coming to terms with this is an important decision point for you. Only once you truly decide in your heart whether things are really over will you be in the position to move forward in your life.

3. Exchange personal property with your ex:

If you have decided that it is best for both you and your ex that the relationship never be revived, then so be it. In that case, many people have found it wise to symbolically finalize things with him or her by giving back each other’s personal property. Arrange to meet your ex and exchange any lingering personal effects or other property you still have in each other’s possession. Once this is completed, you are ready for “the ritual” (see step 4).

4. Hold your own end-of-relationship ritual:

Okay, you have exchanged your personal property, which is a very tangible symbol of the end of your relationship with your ex. Now, it is time to do something symbolic for yourself. I call it the end-of-relationship ritual. First, I suggest that your ritual incorporate the following two things: a. a letter from or picture of your ex; b. a place or location that is special to you, personally. As to the details of the ritual, this part is entirely up to you. Some examples that I have used are burning one of your ex’s letters at night at the beach, or releasing a picture of your ex attached to a balloon. Note that the purpose of this is not some sort of creepy relationship voodoo concerning your ex. Rather, it is a symbolic effort designed to get over them and survive your breakup.

5. Depend on your friends and family for support:

It is important that you trust and depend upon your friends during this tough time in your life. Until you meet the next special flame (or until you rekindle your relationship with your ex), you are headed for a serious romantic hiatus. So, take advantage of the comfort that your non-romantic relationships can bring to you.

Surviving a breakup is never easy. Start by facing your pain and letting the hurt out. Then, decide whether your relationship is really over. If it is over, exchange personal property with your ex and take part in your own end-of-relationship ritual to seal the deal. Finally, rely on the support of friends and family. If, on the other hand, you think your relationship might be worth saving, you owe it to yourself to do what it takes to rekindle your love and get on with your life together.

Broken hearts and relationships can be mended. Check out advice from relationship gurus who have helped thousands of others regain their past love at: http://www.in-your-arms-again.com/

I don’t know what’s worse. The breakup itself or the pain the follows it and won’t go away. If you’re familiar with those feelings then you know exactly what I’m talking about. Worse still is that after, thoughts keep coming back about your ex. Every thought stings. That pain just won’t go away, but if you don’t find a way to make it go away you think you’ll go crazy. There is something I can suggest to help you out.

Typically, after learning about a breakup, your friends will want to help you. The best way they know how is usually to take you out for a night of fun or to relax to get your mind off of your ex. You probably don’t feel like “fun” or going out at all. I understand, I’ve been there. You’ve got to understand though, that unless you can divert your thoughts somewhere else, and live life again, you’ll be stuck perpetually depressed by your ex. I know you don’t want that option either.

It’s ok to pretend you’re having fun as long as you go out and let your friends deal their part to heal you. You may find someone else you have a liking for and things may develop from there. If you have no interest in that at all right now, and want to get your ex back, remember there is nothing wrong with company of the other sex as long as it’s in fun and harmless. You can have more than one of these nights if you find that’s what you need as well. Before you take that call, or call your friends up, a few quick words of caution.

Drunk dialing is a cause of many potentially fixable breakups ending before they start. So go light on the alcohol. You don’t want to have to be apologizing to your ex for something you don’t remember doing or was not in a controlled state of mind when you did it. So if you plan to drink, don’t overdo it. It can dig you into a deeper hole than you already might be in.

Breakup pain stings like nothing else. There are few other things that will leave you hurting so deeply for days, weeks, and even months at a time. The power of this pain is huge and anyone who has felt it before knows that well. On top of all this your heart tears wondering what exactly happened in the first place. You know that before you can do anything, you need to make this pain stop, or at least lower is significantly.

It’s probably obvious, but you need to take an extended break from your ex. Seeing them again will only reignite the burn of the breakup once more. There is no way seeing your ex regularly can help you get over breakup pain. The suggested time for this break is usually a minimum of one month. If your ex is unavoidable at some point, like you work with them, you need to minimize contact there since it’s a situation where you can’t avoid seeing them. It’s going to be hard enough getting over them WITHOUT having to see them regularly, so do your best to stay clear of them for awhile until some time has passed.

Another great way to get over your ex is to keep busy. Now is that time to take up a new hobby, or take those guitar lessons you always wanted to take. This keeps your mind and body occupied. In this same line is working out. Through exertion you’re body has it’s own way of working through difficult times. These will keep your heart pumping and your body busy distracting you from your ex.

Since time is a huge determining factor in getting over your ex activities that best distract your mind will work their magic on you. If you’re thinking about your ex is very hard to get over them. This is progression through distraction mainly, but the ability to be able to put your mind anywhere else is a step forward. Once the pain has gone down, and you think you’re able to see them again, then you can decide if you want to revive the relationship or move on.