Get Your Ex Back

After losing someone you’re so close to you’ll go to Hell and back to get them back.  You want to start right away and not rest until they’re back in your arms. The passion is there. The want is there. What many people don’t see during this time is that this is not the right course of action–yet. It’s perfectly understandable you want to be at your ex’s door, or go to where they work, and gush all your feelings out to them right after a breakup. The feelings bubbling inside you are just begging for a release. They’re begging to be acknowledged and that your ex will see the error and take you back.

Stop right there. Don’t rush out of the door yet. Both of you are going through similar feelings. It’s very likely you and your ex want to see this resolved, one way or the other, as soon as possible. What you may have forgotten is that the breakup may not have been pretty. You may have said things you didn’t mean, and you may still be steaming a bit from them. You need to cool off. They need time to cool off too. It’s time for a short break.

How long should you wait? A month minimum is recommended for this cool down period. After that time, enough time should have passed you will both be able to think clearly again and communicate well with your ex. The breakup may feel like ith appened yesterday, even after all that time, but to your advantage your mind will be in a much better place and you’ll be able to better articulate what you mean to them without accidentally triggering another fight. Many of your own ideas at getting them back will also be more successful if you’ve chosen to wait as well. Both of you will have had a chance to miss each other, and that goes a long way when you both talk again and get a chance to work things out.

For some people this step happens naturally, and for others they need to be reminded that immediate contact with your ex after a breakup is not the best plan. It’s perfectly understandable the need, the undying need, to talk to them right away. You know there’s things that need to be discussed and resolved. You know there’s things that could have been said differently or not at all. Things you probably wish you shouldn’t have said. So, why don’t you call them up the next day, or find them at work right afterwards, to clear the air?

The basic reason is you both are still pretty worked up over the last fight or conversation that caused the breakup. You may not feel it now, but when you see them it will definitely come back. Not just the feelings of the breakup causing fight, but everything else. Right now you’re heart is leading you when it would be more beneficial for your brain to call the shots right now. Since you’re reading this and have surely thought about talking to them I’ve got some questions for you.

What would tell them? What would you say? How would you say it? What if another fight broke out? What would kick in first, your head telling you to think or your heart beating with anticipation to make things right as soon as you could?

The bottom line is, you’re not ready. You need some time to cool off and get yur bearings again and so do they. The recommended time for this cool down period is generally one month. This will give you time to ‘cool down’. Time to think things over. Time to get yourself in the right place mentally. When you’re prepared and ready, and have a much clearer head now that time has passed, you’ll be more equipped to get them back and have much more success than if you were do what you were thinking…tomorrow.

This is just the start and tip of the iceberg to getting your ex back, but this is also WHY it’s done and why you should do it. For the rest I recommend The Magic of Making Up. It’s shown it works and can help you too.